It has happened to you before hasn’t it?
You get so angry, and then hurt, then bitter and you say to yourself… I will never speak to that person again; I never ever want to see them ……or even smell them. Every time you remember the hurt, the resentment grows and the bitterness grows and it eats you and you cannot sleep, you cannot eat and you cannot even pray. Especially when it is someone you love, so many questions keep running through your mind; Why will they hurt me like that? Why would they betray my trust?
That is bad on its own, what is even worse is when they are not even sorry.
What do you do? You know deep down inside you that there is only one way forgiveness but that becomes your most dreaded and despised word. When someone even suggests it, you transfer some of the rage and anger you feel towards them. You say; do you know my pain? Have you been through what I have you been through? How dare you suggest it to me? That person is not even sorry, who are you to tell me to forgive?
Forgiving involves purposing in your heart not to bring up the offense again, in accusation or attempt to hurt them; and not hold it against the offending party.
It also involves getting to a place where you don't desire harm/payment
So how do you forgive someone when every fiber of your being resists? How do you look at them lovingly when you still have the memory of their unloving action? How do let go of the way you wish things had worked out if only they made a different choice?
You know what the scripture says in Luke 6:27 "But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28 bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.
It’s a hard thing to do—to completely let go of something painful and forgive the person who may or may not have realized what they did. At your angriest point, the more they seem unremorseful, the more you become convinced the person who hurt you did it with full intention and cruelty. And you feel not a shred of compassion; just unadulterated pain and rage.
You CAN forgive somebody who is not sorry! It is a process but you need strength from the lord. I quite remember this quote from Mahatma Gandhi “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” You will need to always encourage yourself with scripture and prayer. The bible says in James 1:2 My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations; 3 Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. 4 But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing. 5 If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. Forgiving someone who is not sorry one of your greatest as a Christian. Being a Christian is to walk in the shoes of JESUS CHRIST and asking yourself what will Christ do?
How many times have you told God that you will never go back to that sin and you have? A thousand times? How many times have you intentionally committed a sin and told yourself that I will pray for forgiveness soon after and God will forgive me? You know the answer…… a thousand and one times. Look to Christ as an example he did not say well, Mr. x and Mr. y are sorry for their sins so my death on the cross is for them as for the rest of you unrepentant lot, you shall burn for all eternity. He gave us his gift of forgiveness without the condition.
Resentment or bitterness is like a cancer that eats the person harboring it.
It doesn't matter whether it is "deserved" or "righteous". God did not create us to contain resentment. That's part of what forgiveness is -- even when they don't demonstrate any remorse at all.
There is bondage in not being forgiving. And the one in bondage is the one who won't forgive another. Give up on all hope of a better past it has already happened .Stop thinking and just do it. Open your heart and forgive
How did I forgive when it was hard? I came to this realization: no one ever gets to the end of their life and thinks, “I wish I stayed angry longer.”
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